Monday, October 16, 2006

telegram time

Dear Fabio Capello
Ruud
Ronal

DEAR FABIO CANNAVARO

WTF IS GOING ON STOP IN WHICH UNBELIEVABLE UNIVERSE DID GOING FROM THE BEATEN BUT UNBROKEN JUVENTUS TO A BLOATED STABLE OF GALACTIC WASTE THAT CAN'T SO MUCH AS MAKE A PASS FROM ONE PLAYER TO ANOTHER FOR FEAR OF A BROKEN EGO SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA STOP RETURN IMMEDIATELY STOP REMEMBER BECKHAM STOP

"I said give me TIME! I can't deal with this whole proven-football-superstars policy you have going on here!"


Postscript to the Madrid back line that did play in Saturday night's game against Getafe: You suck. So much. The only good thing that can be said about you all? Is that you do not suck HALF as much as the forwards. When next Saturday rolls around and you are all handed much-kicked arse by Barca, you will deserve it richly, but not half as much as the storied-but-unproven fantastitude of the Ruud-Ronaldo partnership.

PPS Canna: No, seriously. Even being the Kaká-surrogate of la Liga ("look, there he is resting his injured knee, let's watch him watching the game because, you know, we aren't paid to focus on the football which is honest-to-Maldini crap, anyway!") has NOT got to be enough compensation for this. Are you trying to cover yourself in shame? You're making Zambrotta and Thuram cry, dude.

PPPS Becks: It's a long way to come, to have us at De Ludo Globi feel sorry for you.

--

Dear Arsenal (on the other hand),

It feels kind of bad saying this after it was an unfancied team that got beat by the classiness of you. But they did try, and you know, apparently in Spain beating a bunch of minnows is too much work. But.

For the win, boys. For. The. Win.

"I don't play for Real Madrid. SCORE."

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9 Comments:

Blogger Szerelem said...

Real are playing like such total crap, its not even funny.
Thank God Zidane quit when he did.

8:26 PM  
Blogger roswitha said...

Aw, but even he couldn't quite give them a boost after 2002, could he? Rule of thumb for everyone considering leaving Juve for Real: DON'T. Your side may be in Serie B and have a reputation for playing the most boring footer in the league, but it's not as bad as this.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Gonzalo said...

OK, it was bad. No, scratch that, it was awful. The only players so far this season who seem to be showing the commitment, or at least the spirit, that you need to compete were not on the pitch: Sergio ramos (suspended), Reyes (injured). Guti drifts in and out like he always does, and Raúl no longer carries the team on his back like he used to. Even van nNstelrooy, who should be fresh and ready to impress, seems to have ben infected with the general lassitude prevailing. If Real don't perform against Steaua and Barça, expect the calls for Capello's head to intensify.

5:18 AM  
Blogger roswitha said...

After the Getafe match the impulse to get on the Sackapello train is mighty. They're not known for keeping their coaches on, are they.

It's such a weird position for Real to be in, though - they're world-dominating evil overlords on paper, but they're pretty much underdogs for this classico. Everyone hates Real, everyone loves Barca. A fan is forced to have complex emotions!

I'm almost ready to give up and watch Milan-Palermo instead.

6:15 AM  
Blogger Szerelem said...

hmmm true what you say about Real post 2002. Dut really they have never been this crap. I think another reason for Zidanes decision to retire a year before his contract for Real was over was the way the team was underperforming. They really need to pull up their socks pronto.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Szerelem said...

You must see this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjY9Rq8oUtA

11:07 PM  
Blogger roswitha said...

... there's no adequate response to that vide, is there?

10:01 PM  
Blogger Szerelem said...

none...i just had a really dumb grin on my face while watching it =D
Canna is too cute in it!!

9:04 AM  
Blogger HAMLET POW POW POW said...

I managed to get in some gratuitous footy catch-up during my little vaycay, and are you a little relieved or something that Real managed to win, over Barca too in fact? And I believe Messi is the Kaka-figure of La Liga!

Also, like, I wonder if Don Cap dreams of his Milan days, sometimes, because this stint is turning into such a nightmare.

7:21 AM  

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